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Struggling to stay Encouraged

I was not able to go to church yesterday because my skin still feels like it is on fire, and if I step out in the heat it makes me feel like I am boiling, and the summers here are hot!
  I am not going to get to go to Maine for vacation this year because we do not have the finds to do so, and that it always one of the highlights that has kept me somewhat sane these past three years. We have been able to go, but I am glad my parents are able to go my mom has had a rough year so I am hoping she gets to have a little fun in the great state of Maine they embarked on their Journey today.
  My Dad bought a little Mobile home to make the Journey for my mom a little more comfortable. So my hope is the traveling isn't to bad on them. My mom got her knew mobility chair so she will be able to do more things on her own, and will be able to get around better than she has been able to lately so I hope they have a good time while they are gone.
 As for me I am not sure what the next step is there have been so many failed steps maybe my neurologist can find some combination that can help me. I have not been able to help my wife so she has been doing all of the household work, and the outside work, and I have been lying around the house which doesn't seem to be to fulfilling. My daughter has not been healthy in about 2 years now. All of last year was spent trying to figure out why every time she ate she got sick. Eventually leading to what the family already knew, and they removed her gallbladder. This year during the first half of the year she has had her wisdom teeth taken out because they were causing her so much pain, and now she is very nauseous, and dizzy at the moment she laying on the bathroom floor because of being sick. My son, who has always been the healthy one, now has a cyst on his thyroid, and they can't seem to get his thyroid evened out so he is tired all the time.
  He is trying to find employment, but with a bad thyroid that is very difficult because he can't be out in the heat, and he can't be in extreme cold either. We are still trying to figure out what he can do.
  The first half of the year my wife's spodylitis has gotten worse, it is a form of rheumatoid arthritis, that causes severe back pain, fatigue, and joint pain, but she keeps pushing on because she love her family, and she is doing her best to keep up. She is mowing at the moment which is her getaway from everything she has always loved to mow, but all the while wondering if everyone in the house is ok.
   Financially I never know how we are going to get through all of the medical bills from month to month, and we seem to have more and more doctors visits and tests that we have a hard time paying for, and they keep coming!
   For me personally this is difficult because I cannot provide for my family in a way that I would like to. I know I can do things when it comes to I.T. related problems, but it would have to be the perfect situation.
    I wonder what happened to the family that while the children were younger we were able to get all six of them ready for church and be there by Sunday school, and now I can't get myself there. I am glad my wife was able to go yesterday that way she could see someone else besides me, and who wouldn't want that!
    I do not know what the purpose for all of this is. I could not sleep last night and just stayed up and prayed, and yet no answer.
    No answer for the Dystonia, no answer for the financial struggle, no answer for the illness of my daughter,and no answer for a job for my son. I have to believe that there is a reason, but from day to day and, month to month, and year to year the struggle gets harder, but I know that there is a plan and a reason I just can't see it. So for the first half of this year it has been very discouraging. I was hoping I would be better this year, but that is not in the plan, at least for the first half.
   Dystonia has put a huge burden on my family and i am appreciative that they have chosen to stick this thing out with me not knowing where it will lead, or what will come next. I do know that there are people worse off than I, and I pray for them these are just my thoughts for my family as we go through the year
    We still have not gotten back into the basement room since the flood, and My wife is trying to get all of the mold cleaned up so we can start the process when we have the funds to do so, or if we have them.
    Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers as we go through this! I haven't been able to step outside in about 2 weeks and it would be nice, and please pray for us financially that the Lord will continue to provide, because it is getting harder and harder, and we are stretched thinner each month. Maybe answers will come in the second half of the year. I do not know they may not, but pray we can take it one day at a time and get through it. The family is struggling and it hurts as a father to see it, and be the main cause of it! God Bless
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Comments

  1. MotherJuly 16, 2019 at 2:29 AM

    Mother Goose is here with her heartbroken again and trying to be an encourager. The song that the Hickersons sang last night touched my heart. Jesus is always there in the middle. No matter what is going on in our lives, if we know him as Lord and Savior hr is there in the middle of it all. He has told us that he will never leave us or forsake us. If we could really grasp the enormity of that statement, we would NEVER have a worried thought in our hearts . This is the master and creater of the Universe that we are talking about here. Is there anything too great for we are talking about here. We don’t understand why things happen to us but Jesus Christ the Master does. We don’t have to understand because he does.? We can’t do anything about our circumstances but he can. He puts insurmountable problems in our lives if he chooses to to. We cannot change them but he can get us through them if we put all the faith that he has given us back in him and trust him. He can do anything but fail. It is difficult as humans to do that so he gave us his Word to remind us of his love, power, and faithfulness. Rest in his grace and his love. After all, what else is there?

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