Aspiring Poet, heartfelt thoughts.I have Just Discovered that I can write

  “Why Didn’t You Answer Me?” — What You Don’t See Happening Inside a Mentally Ill Mind There is something I wish people understood about mental illness. Not something complicated. Not something that requires a medical degree. Just this: Sometimes I need a moment before I can answer you. You may ask me a question, and I may just sit there. Quiet. Looking at you. You might think I'm ignoring you. You might think I wasn't listening. You might think I don't care enough to answer. You might even ask again, a little louder this time. "Did you hear me?" Yes. I heard you. My mind is just trying to catch up. There Is a World Behind the Silence When someone doesn't have bipolar disorder, manic depression, schizophrenia, or another serious mental illness, it can be difficult to understand what happens inside the mind of someone who does. Most people ask a question and expect an answer. Question. Answer. Simple. But sometimes my mind doesn't work that way. You ask me...

  "I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust." — Psalm 91:2 There are battles people fight that cannot be seen by the human eye. There are storms that leave no bruises on the skin, yet they leave scars upon the soul. There are wars fought quietly behind a smile, behind a handshake, behind the words, "I'm doing okay." This is one of those battles. What I share here is not meant to be a medical explanation of bipolar disorder or a description of every person's experience. It is simply my story—my journey, my struggles, and the lessons God has been teaching me along the way. If my words help someone feel seen or help another person better understand a loved one, then sharing them is worth it. When My Mind Reaches the Heavens There are moments when my mind feels unstoppable. Ideas come faster than I can express them. Energy seems endless. The world feels brighter, and dreams suddenly seem within reach. It can feel like ...

  There is a pain that comes from being misunderstood. Not the kind of pain that leaves a bruise you can point to. Not the kind of pain that people can easily see and sympathize with. It is the pain of fighting a battle inside your own mind while the world around you only sees the moments when you struggle. For those living with conditions like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, there are days when the greatest battle is not just the illness itself. It is being judged by people who do not understand it. People may see the frustration. They may see the confusion. They may see the moments when emotions become overwhelming, when thoughts race faster than they can be controlled, when fear and reality seem to collide. But they do not see the war happening behind the eyes. They do not see the exhaustion of trying to explain something that is almost impossible to put into words. They do not see the prayers whispered in the darkness: "God, please help me make it through today...

 I  was excited to have landed an interview with a company and a Job I knew I had the qualifications for. I had been preparing for this interview for about a week, I even did research on the company, practicing some answers to common interview questions,  As I walked into the conference room, I felt confident and ready to impress the hiring managers. However, as the interview progressed, I noticed something strange happening. The faces of the interviewers began to cringe and look uncomfortable every time I mentioned My visits to a psychiatrist and My mental health issues. I have always been open about the struggles with my Mental Disorder, and was glad it was finally under control. I believe that being honest about My mental health issues would help Me build stronger relationships with his colleagues and create a more supportive work environment. However, as I watched the interviewers' reactions, I could see the judgment and stigma in their eyes, and I knew that My chance...

  Mental illness is a condition that affects millions of people worldwide. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma surrounding mental illness, and many individuals with mental health conditions are not receiving the care and compassion they deserve. It is essential that people understand the importance of giving compassion and patience to those with mental illness, as it can significantly impact their recovery and quality of life.  It is crucial to understand that mental illness is a legitimate medical condition that requires treatment and support. Individuals with mental illness may struggle with their symptoms, which can impact their ability to perform daily activities and interact with others. Therefore, it is essential to provide a supportive and non-judgmental environment for individuals with mental illness. It is essential to listen to their experiences and validate their feelings, as this can help them feel heard and understood.  Individuals with mental illness ofte...

  Mental health is an important aspect of overall wellbeing, and its impact can be felt in all aspects of my  life, including the workplace. Unfortunately, mental health stigma in the workplace is a common issue that can have serious consequences for employees and organizations as a whole.   The way I see mental health stigmas in the workplace is people avoiding me or thinking that I am making things up to get attention or lack of wanting to work with me as a person because they do not know when my mental issues may rear there ugly head! It is difficult to explain to someone when I am having a bad day or why I am having a bad day because most of the time I do not know.  I am just mentally absent and as my psychiatrist says it is okay not to be okay    One of the main reasons for the Stigma of mental health is that many people around me just do not believe it exists. Only people locked up in a ward somewhere can't be productive people. the lack of respect th...

I do not have much for updates, except summer is coming which means my health will take a downward turn. I cannot do much in the summer because the moment I step outside into the sun I feel like my skin is boiling, very unpleasant, as you can imagine, While others around me enjoy the summer, and the nice change of pace, I enjoy the Winter or fall, but here we have 2 seasons winter and summer no fall no spring.   It is quite interesting the take I have on the quarantine now that people have been that way for a few weeks, they are starting to get restless, and protests are breaking out all over the country, because people can't feel trapped, I might remind you that this is my everyday, there is no when it is over we will get back to normal and be able to go back out and do all of the things we love to do, because for me the truth is when this blows over nothing will change. I will still feel trapped, I still won't be able to go to most places because of the loud noises. I will b...

One of the hardest things with Dystonia is trying to know when you can go out with the family and do something, go somewhere or for how long. I know for most people if they want to go to get something or go somewhere they can hop in the car and go without a second thought, but for me that is not the case. We have to look at the weather forecast to see if there are going to be any storms we have to know how much noise will be there what kind of acoustics will the room be in, and for some reason when we ask these questions some get offended and tell us that if we do not want to come then don't, but we are not trying to find an excuse not to come we are trying to find out if it is a possibility. Sometimes it is and sometimes it is not, and sometimes we do not know so we give it a try.    for example I had a good week a couple weeks back and my wife had some things to do so we decided that I would go, and we always know the risk of my having a storm in the car, or not being abl...

     I do not get offended very easily anyone who knows me knows that. I Just let it slide and figure someone was having a bad day and move on to the next thing whatever it may be, but I do get frustrated when people refuse to acknowledge that Dystonia is a real disease, or they think that The Patient has made up the whole thing in there head. believe me if I were going to make up a disease it would not be this one! I know some people think that everything I do is fake, and just to get attention because they have told me so, but I could get attention other ways than this, and my wife would tell you that some of the things that this disease causes would be hard to fake. As you read this you may think the whole thing is a farce and I could quit whenever I wanted to, and you can keep that opinion that does not bother me, because I know the truth, and those who have never experienced the disease for themselves I get it.     There are however 2 words that I know get...