Aspiring Poet, heartfelt thoughts.I Have Dystonia, bipolar, and an Avid Southern Gospel Music fan

 Ah, the manic episode – that turbo-charged, full-throttle joyride through life where sleep is optional, ideas are boundless, and every impulse is the best idea ever. If only there was a manual on how to slow down this runaway train! Buckle up, folks, because we’re about to embark on a rollercoaster ride through the challenges of taming that manic beast, with a little humor to keep us sane. First, let’s be real. When I’m in the throes of a manic episode, everything seems like a brilliant idea. Start a new business selling glow-in-the-dark pet rocks? Genius! Buy 300 feet of chicken wire for no apparent reason? Absolutely! But recognizing that I’m in a manic episode is the first step to slowing down. Imagine I’m a superhero with a very inconvenient superpower: the ability to do absolutely everything, all at once, but with zero follow-through. My superhero name? Captain Mania. Now, Captain Mania, it’s time to hang up the cape (at least for a while). Remember that one time I thought my new

  I know that this title may be weird to some of you and that is understandable, but it is true I fight with myself mentally most of the time, there are sometimes that it is worse than others, but it is always there.    The fight always seems to be what my body thinks I can do and what my mind thinks I can do. I will never forget when I went back to the doctor expecting him to release me to go back to work and he didn't. I fully expected that I was going back to work and nothing would change, and I still and persuaded sometimes that this whole disease is something I made up somehow I should be able to stop the tremors, and resume a normal life, but the doctor said my eyes told a different story I really wasn't there. I had times when I couldn't remember what the doctor had said and I was stunned when he told me I was not cleared to work, or was I.    I have times where I doubt this whole Dystonia thing is real, and I need to get back to work like I am supposed to. Then

Imagine if you will that in the blink of an eye everything you knew changed. Everything you could do every exercise you enjoyed, every sport you Loved to play, and your job, that you say you hate, but really you don't want SSDI, was taken away. Put yourself there for a minute or even a second. Picture what your life would be like, the drastic changes that would have to be made the financial cuts of things you enjoyed were no longer affordable. If you played an instrument you may not be able to play it with this disease there is no end to what it can effect, or a sport you loved to play, no longer even an option, and all in a span of about 12 hours. This is my life.   This is the reality for every Dystonia patient and if they are old enough to remember they remember when everything changed. for me it was October 16, 2016. I started like a normal day except I had ear pain. I went to work thinking nothing of it assuming that it was one of my ear infections that I usually once or