Aspiring Poet, heartfelt thoughts.I Have Dystonia, bipolar, and an Avid Southern Gospel Music fan

Went to my Doctors Appointment yesterday. He asked if i had any new symptoms since I was there last, I chuckled, with this disease there are always new symptoms things you never expect to happen.  Like a couple of weeks ago my legs just gave out I grabbed a door and went sprawling into a bedroom, who saw that coming. I have had a muscle in my back that has been twisted for about a 2 weeks goes from my back down to through my leg. So I never can describe all the new symptoms that I have had because there are always new ones and I do not remember them all.    When I went on disability I had to take on medicare as my primary insurance, and they do not pay much found that out when my doctor told me what my balance was for appointments going back to May, and I went on Medicare in April. So now we have to try to come up with the money by the end of the year for the remaining balance for the Doctor.   Meanwhile our car is in the shop again, which makes 10 times this year...

I had to go on disability three years ago today, and I was proficient in PHP, CSS, Python, Helped schools with WordPress issues, and set up and designed networks using DHCP  and also DNS worked with them helping with web design and front end and all of the backend work as well    Dystonia does not allow me to use those skills that I worked so hard to perfect, and it feels like all the time and effort I put in was wasted because now I can do it if i could do it. There are some days that I am fine and feel like I could go back to work and resume right where I left off and then there are other days that I couldn't     This is mentally taxing and discouraging knowing that you can do something, but not get the opportunity to do it. I actually loved what I was doing, and it was providing a decent living for my family, and now I cannot. I feel I have let them down because I am supposed to look out for them and there well being, but with everything getting so expensiv...