Aspiring Poet, heartfelt thoughts.I Have Dystonia, bipolar, and an Avid Southern Gospel Music fan

 Dystonia is a complex neurological movement disorder that manifests through involuntary muscle contractions, leading to repetitive movements or abnormal postures. It can affect various parts of the body, presenting a range of challenges for those who live with it. In this post, I aim to shed light on the nuances of dystonia, including my personal experience with generalized dystonia, and explore the different types and treatment options available. What is Dystonia? Dystonia is characterized by persistent muscle contractions that cause involuntary twisting and abnormal postures. This condition varies significantly among individuals, affecting a single muscle in some and multiple regions in others. The severity and areas impacted by dystonia can lead to different experiences, but the underlying struggle is universal. My Journey with Generalized Dystonia In my life, dystonia is genetic, manifesting as generalized dystonia, which means it affects multiple parts of my body. This type o...

Today was one of those days where I woke up feeling like a stranger in my own body. Dystonia had decided to assert itself more than usual, with muscles twisting and pulling in ways I couldn’t control. It’s a familiar dance of discomfort and unpredictability, but no matter how often it happens, it never gets easier. This physical turbulence was just the beginning, as it ushered in a deeper, more pervasive sense of depression. There’s an unsettling weight that accompanies these moments—a feeling like I’m being scrutinized by invisible eyes or that something ominous is lurking just out of sight. It’s as though a dark cloud has settled over my mind, casting long shadows on my thoughts and actions. I don’t know what’s coming, but the fear of it is enough to keep me constantly on edge. I spent most of the day in a quiet, reserved state, moving through the hours like I was underwater. Words felt heavy, and each sentence was an uphill climb. When someone asked me a question, my mind went blank...

 Welcome, readers. Today, I’m offering a candid exploration of manic depression—a condition that brings a unique blend of intense highs and profound lows into my life. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, I aim to shed light on the realities of living with this mental health condition, blending humor with heartfelt moments. Manic depression, often known as bipolar disorder, can turn life into a series of high-octane experiences. During manic episodes, I feel like an unstoppable force of nature, brimming with energy and creativity. It’s as if I’ve been handed a turbo boost, propelling me into a whirlwind of activity and ideas. For instance, I once found myself awake at 2 a.m., fervently discussing my latest grand plan with my wife—constructing a life-sized replica of the Starship Enterprise out of cardboard. At one point, I was absolutely convinced that I was Captain Kirk, heroically battling a Gorn in the living room. The “Gorn,” as it turned out, was the trash can—an advers...

 In fleeting moments, life drifts by,   Whispers of time, a silent sigh.   From Heaven’s vantage, I observe,   Are you prepared, with heart and nerve? When the call comes, swift and true,   What will you hear? What will you do?   In the stillness of the night,   Do you ponder what is right? Each heartbeat a precious gift,   A chance to mend, to heal, to lift.   What have you done with the Light I gave?   Will you stand firm, or will you cave? In your soul’s quiet quest,   Have you lived with grace, with zest?   Have you repented of your sins,   Or just found fault in others’ whims? I am the Truth, I am Jesus,   Whom thou crucified—might you be wrong?   Are you too proud to be reproved,   Or do you embrace the cutting asunder? In humility, have you embraced   The love and truth I’ve traced?   As you traverse this ea...

  Stress is an inevitable part of life, lurking in the background and waiting for the right moment to spring into action. It can be an important motivator, pushing us to meet deadlines or prepare for significant events. However, when stress crosses a certain threshold, it can become overwhelming and detrimental, particularly when it comes to our sleep. For many, especially those who have experienced traumatic events, stress can lead to insomnia—a debilitating condition where the mind races, and sleep becomes elusive. When we experience stress, our body enters a heightened state of alertness, often referred to as the "fight or flight" response. This is a mental mechanism designed to help us deal with immediate threats. However, in today’s world, stressors are often more chronic and less immediate, like work pressures, financial worries, or, in my case, the aftermath of a traumatic event. This heightened state of alertness can make it difficult for the mind to transition into...

                                                                                                                        In skies so vast where dreams take flight, Four souls embarked into the night. Jason, Amber, Kelly, and Nathan names we hold, Their stories of love and faith unfold. They lived in kindness, hearts so pure, Their actions spoke of faith’s allure. In every smile, each warm embrace, They showed us how to seek God's grace. God's hand took them away, Yet in our hearts, their love will stay. Though gone from us, they shine above, An endless testament of God's own love. Jason’s laughter, Amber’s care, Kelly’s spirit, bright and rare, Their lives were threads in Heave...

Today, I find myself grappling with a profound sense of loss that words can scarcely capture. The news of Amber, Jason, Nathan and Kelly Nelon's tragic passing in a plane crash has shattered the hearts of all who knew them. For years, they were not just voices on a stage but dear friends who became like family to me. Their music, a perfect blend of faith and harmony, touched thousands and left an everlasting imprint on our souls. I first met this family in 2016, and we instantly became friends. They were so loving and caring, welcoming me into their world with open arms. Their kindness and warmth were as genuine as their music was uplifting. The Nelons had a unique ability to transform the world around them with their music. Amber's voice was like a gentle breeze, pure and filled with grace, that carried the hope of her every song straight to our hearts. Jason’s harmonies were the comforting embrace that brought warmth and unity to their sound. And Kelly, with her rich and powe...