Skip to main content

Counting Llamas: Trying to Finding Sleep in a World of Insomnia

 


Stress is an inevitable part of life, lurking in the background and waiting for the right moment to spring into action. It can be an important motivator, pushing us to meet deadlines or prepare for significant events. However, when stress crosses a certain threshold, it can become overwhelming and detrimental, particularly when it comes to our sleep. For many, especially those who have experienced traumatic events, stress can lead to insomnia—a debilitating condition where the mind races, and sleep becomes elusive.

When we experience stress, our body enters a heightened state of alertness, often referred to as the "fight or flight" response. This is a mental mechanism designed to help us deal with immediate threats. However, in today’s world, stressors are often more chronic and less immediate, like work pressures, financial worries, or, in my case, the aftermath of a traumatic event. This heightened state of alertness can make it difficult for the mind to transition into the relaxed state necessary for sleep. The more we stress about not sleeping, the harder it becomes to drift off. It's a vicious cycle: stress causes insomnia, and lack of sleep further amplifies stress.

After experiencing a traumatic event, I find myself caught in this cycle. The event replayes in my mind repeatedly, each detail magnifying my anxiety. Nighttime, which used to be a sanctuary of rest, turnes into a battleground where my thoughts race uncontrollably. No matter how exhausted I feel, I can’t get my mind to slow down long enough to fall asleep. The silence of the night, instead of being calming, is deafening, amplifying my worries and fears. I have tried everything: counting sheep, deep breathing exercises, and even resorting to late-night TV to distract my mind. But nothing seemed to work. The more I try to force myself to sleep, the more elusive it becomes.

At this point, I am prescribed enough sleeping medication to sedate an elephant—seriously, Dumbo would have been out cold. But my mind? Nope, it decided to do laps around the insomnia track all night long. The medicine might as well have been sugar pills for all the good they did me.

Over time, I've learned a few strategies that have helped me manage stress-induced insomnia:

  • Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness helps bring my thoughts back to the present moment. Meditation before bed has become a ritual, allowing me to focus on my breathing and slowly release the tensions of the day. There’s something about the act of sitting quietly and letting thoughts come and go that helps remind me I don’t need to chase every hair brained idea that pops up.
  • Establishing a Routine: Creating a consistent bedtime routine signals (which is almost impossible) to my brain that it's time to wind down. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a warm bath, or listening to calming music, these activities help prepare my mind for sleep. My routine has become a sort of nightly ceremony—by 9:30 p.m., you’ll find me in pajamas, Bible in hand, trying to convince my brain it’s time to power down.
  • Writing It Down: When my thoughts race, I’ve found solace in writing them down. Journaling allows me to externalize my worries, freeing my mind from the need to keep track of every detail. It's as if by putting my thoughts on paper, I give my brain permission to let them go. I’ve filled countless google-keep notes with late-night musings, half-formed ideas, and the occasional  snack cravings—anything to quiet the mind and let sleep take over, and then I put them in blog form for others to read, Just incase they have not tried any of these suggestions.

 

  • Limiting Screen Time: The blue light from screens can interfere with the production of melatonin, the hormone that regulates sleep. I’ve made it a point to avoid screens at least an hour before bedtime. Instead of scrolling through my phone, I’ve taken up the thrilling pastime of watching my cat chase imaginary creatures around the living room. It’s surprisingly entertaining and much easier on the eyes.

While insomnia does rule my life, I've learned to get sleep when I can. By addressing the root causes of stress and developing a compassionate relationship with my mind, I am trying to reclaim my nights. I’ve come to realize that sometimes a quick nap is the best victory I can hope for.

For those navigating similar struggles, know that you are not alone. The journey to restful sleep may be challenging, but with patience and perseverance, peace can be found even in the darkest hours. And remember, it’s okay to take small victories where you can find them. The above strategies rarely work, but sometimes on occasion I can drift off for a few minutes before my mind wakes me up thinking buffalos are racing through my head! They may work for you.

Besides, if the sheep don’t do the trick, you can always try counting llamas. They’re fluffier and arguably better company.

Comments