Today we had some warm weather so I was able to watch some of the things going on outside to get all of the things out of the basement. We now have mold growing in the basement so we, my wife, is taking bleach water and cleaning it out with the help of my son. this is Just some of the mess that the
they Have had to deal with. The frustrating part is as a dystonia patient you watch from a distance. you feel like you are leaving your family to do everything while you sit and do nothing. I begin to feel that way as well, and I begin to believe that they are upset because I am not helping in anyway.
My wife has done the most clean up, and sometimes I wonder why she does it. Her life is hard she cleans the house, makes supper, cleans the car, drives all of the children to there doctors appointments all because I can't, and my daughter stays home and takes care of me all the while my wife is worrying that something is going to happen and she will not be with me. this is her life and she chooses to live it, but I often wonder if she knew that I was going to have Dystonia and her life would become this hard, would she do it again. I think everyone that finds themselves in a situation where they are completely dependent on some one else for everything will ask that question. The Picture is just a fraction of what she is having to clean up and more rain is expected this weekend. So we will probably go through this process again. sometimes I feel alone because it will be a day that the Dystonia gets the better of me an I don't exactly know how to handle it. Discouragement is a part of this life and it comes in many forms. This is when I find that being able to play the guitar, sing, listen to southern gospel music is so important in my life. It is uplifting it is amazing what God can do with music
The other Day I was feeling Particularly bad and a son by the Talleys came on that I had never heard. its title "When The Answer Is No" there was another time a song came on that The Nelons sing called "More Than Wonderful" these are times that the Lord and I share together and He can encourage me through music. He does not always choose to, However. This path that I walk is frustrating sometimes and it does get me down, but in the end I know that God is in control of what is going on there is a plan that he has put in place, and it is my Job as best I know how to Glorify Him in it. That my friend is the hardest part of the disease finding a way to stop and smell the roses even when you can't do anything. on the days you cannot get out of bed or days you cannot move I have to remember God knows what he is doing, that is faith! sometimes I question what is going on in my life, but the longer I live the more I understand I do not control anything. I did not control when I was born, where I was born, what diseases I would or would not get, and I still cannot control anything, but I must try with all that is in me to Glorify my savior through this disease. Sometimes he calms the storm other times he calms his child, another song that I heard when I was younger that has helped me along this journey
So please if you read this keep us in your prayers. It is a struggle everyday to keep going to keep trusting, but as my dad always said, "what choice do we have", and he has seen more and I am sure hurt more than I ever will because he has had to see his children go through it.
If you read this I thank you I know it may not be interesting to anyone, but it is an outlet for me and may be able to encourage someone along their journey. if you enjoy the blog you can follow it by clicking the follow button on the right hand side of the screen, or subscribe by clicking the subscribe button at the top of the page God bless
they Have had to deal with. The frustrating part is as a dystonia patient you watch from a distance. you feel like you are leaving your family to do everything while you sit and do nothing. I begin to feel that way as well, and I begin to believe that they are upset because I am not helping in anyway.My wife has done the most clean up, and sometimes I wonder why she does it. Her life is hard she cleans the house, makes supper, cleans the car, drives all of the children to there doctors appointments all because I can't, and my daughter stays home and takes care of me all the while my wife is worrying that something is going to happen and she will not be with me. this is her life and she chooses to live it, but I often wonder if she knew that I was going to have Dystonia and her life would become this hard, would she do it again. I think everyone that finds themselves in a situation where they are completely dependent on some one else for everything will ask that question. The Picture is just a fraction of what she is having to clean up and more rain is expected this weekend. So we will probably go through this process again. sometimes I feel alone because it will be a day that the Dystonia gets the better of me an I don't exactly know how to handle it. Discouragement is a part of this life and it comes in many forms. This is when I find that being able to play the guitar, sing, listen to southern gospel music is so important in my life. It is uplifting it is amazing what God can do with music
The other Day I was feeling Particularly bad and a son by the Talleys came on that I had never heard. its title "When The Answer Is No" there was another time a song came on that The Nelons sing called "More Than Wonderful" these are times that the Lord and I share together and He can encourage me through music. He does not always choose to, However. This path that I walk is frustrating sometimes and it does get me down, but in the end I know that God is in control of what is going on there is a plan that he has put in place, and it is my Job as best I know how to Glorify Him in it. That my friend is the hardest part of the disease finding a way to stop and smell the roses even when you can't do anything. on the days you cannot get out of bed or days you cannot move I have to remember God knows what he is doing, that is faith! sometimes I question what is going on in my life, but the longer I live the more I understand I do not control anything. I did not control when I was born, where I was born, what diseases I would or would not get, and I still cannot control anything, but I must try with all that is in me to Glorify my savior through this disease. Sometimes he calms the storm other times he calms his child, another song that I heard when I was younger that has helped me along this journey
So please if you read this keep us in your prayers. It is a struggle everyday to keep going to keep trusting, but as my dad always said, "what choice do we have", and he has seen more and I am sure hurt more than I ever will because he has had to see his children go through it.
If you read this I thank you I know it may not be interesting to anyone, but it is an outlet for me and may be able to encourage someone along their journey. if you enjoy the blog you can follow it by clicking the follow button on the right hand side of the screen, or subscribe by clicking the subscribe button at the top of the page God bless
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